We love having sex. It feels incredible and we all love that post-sex glow when everything seems fantastic and you can’t stop smiling about how good it was. Or that is the theory. It seems that, in reality, our sexual satisfaction isn’t as good as it could be.
In fact, a recent study has found that our sexual satisfaction is way below where it should be. Instead of going “OH YES!” every time we have sex, most people are going “meh”. Definitely not what you want!
So why aren’t we as satisfied by sex? Is there something we could do to change it? And what is the key to sexual satisfaction?
Sex isn’t satisfying
When we think about how satisfied people are with their sex lives, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the majority of us love having sex. We tend to assume that others are going at it like rabbits, even if we aren’t, because sex is everywhere. How many times have you sat yourself down to watch a TV show, only to find that someone is fucking on the screen as part of the plot?
Well it seems that our assumptions that others are having a lot of sex are all wrong. In fact, it isn’t only the frequency of sex we are off about… but also how satisfied people are in the bedroom.
Ipsos MORI decided to look into Women’s Health Concerns in the UK, interviewing 2,002 women about a number of different topics, including their sex lives.
They wanted to know how often people were having sex, and discovered that the majority were “never” engaging in sexual activity. Not only that, but just 17% of those surveyed said that they were “very satisfied” with their sex lives.
Why aren’t we satisfied?
The researchers could have simply left it there, making us wonder just what it is that left so many women feeling unsatisfied by their sex lives. Thankfully, they didn’t. They investigated further, asking which of a list of conditions and feelings had “negatively impacted” their sex lives in the last year.
The majority of women surveyed stated that tiredness was the number one factor, as a quarter of them gave this as their response. Other things like vaginal dryness, levels of stress and anxiety, and lack of intimacy with their partner were cited.
So it seems that a number of different factors are at play to make us feel as though our sex lives aren’t as good as they could be. But some of these seem like little things, so we are left wondering if there is a key to sexual satisfaction.
Is there a key to sexual satisfaction?
While it would be amazing if there was one simple trick you could do to magically fix your sex life and make everything great again, there isn’t. However, there is still something that you could do to help deal with a number of these factors in the bedroom.
No, it isn’t a new sex position or a kinky sex act that you need. What you really need is to talk about sex. Really talk about sex with your partner. Communication can fix a hell of a lot of things in the bedroom.
For example, if your partner keeps trying things in bed that you really aren’t enjoying, you can just tell them. Instead of simply going along with it you can talk to them, explaining that you aren’t as turned on by that. It works even better if you give them other suggestions, such as “I don’t really like you squeezing my balls that hard, but it really turns me on when you lick from the base of my cock all the way to to tip”.
Let’s talk about sex
For some reason we get scared by the thought of talking about sex. Dirty talk is fine, but actually telling someone what we like in the bedroom? We’d rather not. We seem to expect people to be able to read our minds, and this might be because of a few different things.
Often in porn or even movie sex scenes people get straight down to sex. They don’t talk about it, which can leave us feeling like it is strange if we do open up about our kinky interests. It might even be that we have tried to talk about sex in the past, only to be rejected by a partner. When that happens it can leave you feeling shit.
Do you find it easy to talk about sex? Do you feel as though you have a high sexual satisfaction because of it, or do you think that there are some other things you can do to make your sex life incredible? We want to hear from you, so leave a comment in the box below and join in the discussion.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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