Many of us have heard of ‘mindfulness’. For those who haven’t, it is a technique that is popular with mental health experts all over the world.
According to the NHS: ‘Becoming more aware of the present moment can help us enjoy the world around us more and understand ourselves better. When we become more aware of the present moment, we begin to experience afresh things that we have been taking for granted.’
This all sounds pretty good in general. What is even better is that the same thought process can be used in all our sex lives. In fact, by using this technique we can enhance it immeasurably.
This was discussed in a recent Tedx Talk by Diana Richardson.
Our Problems With Sex
The main problem for many during sex is that they let their mind wander. That project at work may need finishing, or the bins possibly need putting out. That takes away from us enjoying every sensation we are experiencing.
Also, we become too ‘goal orientated’. It is all about the orgasm, and the sex on the way there is just a route you need to take to get there. We need to remember that the orgasm only lasts a few seconds, whilst the sex itself lasts a number of minutes. If we ignore that, then aren’t we depriving ourselves of most of the fun?
This is all about mindset. We need to put ourselves in a state where we embrace what is happening to us. This is easier said than done however, as it is normal to let your mind wander, and as kids we are taught to be goal driven. To change our whole make up in a situation like this will take time and effort. It certainly won’t be an overnight thing
Well, we all have to start somewhere. These tips can really help bring the mindfulness technique to a new erotic level.
Set Aside Time
Even if it means getting up earlier or staying up late, make sure what you do isn’t rushed. In fact, less sex which you can concentrate on is far better than more sex which you are merely trying to fit it.
Focus
You really have to be in the moment. This isn’t about floating on a cloud with a sense of bliss; actually concentrate on what you are feeling, every stroke or sensation.
Returning To The Moment
If you feel your mind is wandering, come back to what you are doing. You have to be able to spot your mind is wandering, and this actually takes more awareness than you would think.
Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself
Not being able to do this doesn’t mean you fail, it means that you are human. It may sound easy, but is actually very hard, and it isn’t something everybody can do.
Good luck in your mindfulness technique journey. It will take time, but if it works, you will certainly reap the benefits.
Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.
When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
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