At some point in your life, loud sex will have been something you’ve experience in one way or another. You might have a neighbour who really likes to shout their partner’s name for the entire street to hear. Or perhaps you are guilty of getting a little vocal in the sheets.
Often it is a case of getting carried away and caught up in the moment. We can’t help ourselves. And yet there are tons of people online shaming those who have loud sex. So is it really a problem, or are people just getting worked up over nothing?
We can’t help it
For the most part, sex doesn’t have to get too loud. It can just be fun with low moaning and sighing. Sometimes we can’t help ourselves. We’ll start groaning loudly as our partner runs their tongue in just the right spot to make us shuddered in pleasure, and then we’ll scream their name out loud when they make us cum.
Generally we don’t do it on purpose. It is simply a reaction, like swearing when you bang your toe on the table leg as you walk by or cheering when your football team scores. Shouting when you score on the pitch is fine, but not in the bedroom.
There is this assumption made by those who can hear us that no-one is that good in bed. They’ll believe that it is faked and complain that nobody can have an orgasm that good. So why do we do it? Well, making noises is the best way to let our partner know they are doing a good job. If your partner moans while you are going down on them you are going to continue doing the same thing, right? It’s the best way to say “yes, keep doing that!” without having to utter a word.
Shaming the sound
When people hear others having loud sex they have one huge reaction. They get frustrated with it. Perhaps the sound is putting them off the TV show they are watching, or perhaps the couple is fucking late at night and keeping them awake. Either way, this frustration tends to turn into fun and games.
People have made shaming those couples having sex by leaving them notes. You’ve probably already seen the types of notes that they get left, but there are plenty of notes from neighbours to ask neighbours to keep the noise down.
The majority of these notes are passive aggressive. Instead of just going to have a word with their neighbours, they’ll leave the note, usually somewhere very public, in the hopes of shaming them into silence. Sometimes it works, and other times it makes the couple louder. It ends up in a vicious cycle.
Loud vs. quiet sex
For a lot of people there is a fine balance when it comes to the noise in the bedroom. We like some noise, but not anything too loud. When it gets too loud we start to assume that our partner is just faking it (as you can see in the neighbour note below). But too quiet and your partner starts to worry that they aren’t doing the right thing in the bedroom. So which is better… loud or quiet sex?
Personally, I’m okay with loud sex. There are times when it seems like it isn’t called for… for example, when you have literally just started touching touching your partner. When it gets to porno moans, that is when you have a problem. The rest of the time? Don’t hold back.
That said, it can be sexy to watch your partner trying to stay quiet, whether this is by biting their lip or a pillow. You’ll want to make them moan as loud as you can, and this kinky challenge makes sex even more exciting.
Is loud sex really a problem?
So is fucking loudly really the huge problem people make it out to be? I don’t think so. If it really bothers you, you should be able to have an adult conversation with your neighbour about it. If you can’t talk to them about it, leaving a note (as you can see throughout this blog) is just a bit of a dick move.
Have you ever had to deal with people having loud sex? Are you guilty of getting a little vocal in bed? Share your stories in the comment box below, or vote in the poll to let us know if loud sex is really a problem or something we should just get over.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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