It used to be that being a nice person was seen as a bad thing. It made you a pushover, someone who could be taken advantage of, and honestly? It sucked. However, it seems that things might actually be improving for nice guys, as a recent study tells us.
That whole “nice guys finish last” thing? It turns out that might actually be a load of rubbish… particularly when it comes to sex. Altruistic people are having more sex than others. Maybe it is time to start being a little nicer when you can?
Altruism and sex
A study published in the British Journal of Psychology has suggested that there are strong links between how selfless a person is and how much sex they are having.
The study comes from Nipissing University and the University of Guelph. The researchers wanted to take a look at altruistic people and their lives, though their focus was mainly on their sex lives. They wanted to challenge the idea that nice guys finish last, taking a look at just how many sexual partners they had.
When interviewing the subjects, they discovered that the nicer, more selfless people actually had more sexual partners. In other words, the nicer you are, the more sex you could be having with more people.
How the study was conducted
The study was broken up into two different experiments. In the first experiment, the participants were given the chance to rate themselves in terms of altruistic traits. They then also made a note of how many casual sexual partners they’d had, as well as the frequency of sex when in a relationship.
This experiment told the researchers that those who rated themselves more highly in terms of altruistic traits had more sex, as well as more sexual partners.
The second part of the study focused on generosity. They asked those involved if they would donate some fictional winnings to a third party. Those who said ‘yes’ to this question had more sexual partners than others, suggesting that being selfless has something to do with your attractiveness to people.
Why does this happen?
It’s interesting to see that being selfless and altruistic can make you far more attractive to people, therefore giving you the chance to enjoy sex more often and with more people. But why is this the case? How do traits such as generosity and kindness have an impact on your sexual partners?
Dr Susan Marchant-Haycox stated that “it’s possible to suggest that altruistic people are likely to have more sexual partners than those who do not have this ‘so-called’ personality trait, because they most probably show more attention to people“.
She went on to explain that “they are kinder and more caring to others; this is an attractive personality trait”. In the bedroom, this can suggest that you will be a better lover, as you will put your partner’s needs before your own. You’ll want to make sure they feel good.
More likely for men
The researchers spoke to 800 men and women to get the results of their study. What is most intriguing is that the results seemed to be true for both men and women. However, altruism is more likely to be an attractive trait for men to display than it is for women.
Professor Barclay, one of the researchers, stated that “it’s a more effective signal for men than for women”, suggesting that nice men do better than nice women.
This doesn’t mean, however, that it isn’t true for women. It still is, but women might find that they don’t have that many more sexual partners than those who aren’t altruistic. There may still be a difference, though it won’t be quite as dramatic as it is for men.
Nice guys don’t finish last
Despite the belief that nice guys finish this, this study proves otherwise. It suggests that it really does cost nothing to be nice, as you can gain a lot from it. Being a little more selfless in your life might actually help to improve your sex life.
You could get more sexual partners as a result and enjoy more frequent sex in a relationship. I don’t know about you, but that seems like a good reason to be nicer to people.
What do you think to the results of this study? Does it make you want to try a little harder to be one of the nice guys, or are you already one? Let us know what you think by leaving a comment in the box below.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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