There are some places we constantly dream about having sex in. The problem is that these fantasies don’t often live up to the reality. Each comes with its own problems and risks, and sometimes those risks aren’t worth it.
It’s worth fucking in these locations at least once so that you can say you’ve done it, but beyond that? I’m not convinced you should visit these places too often for sex. Here are some of the overrated sex spots, ranked by me from best to worst. Let me know if you agree in the comments!
Car sex
The best on this list is one that is pretty tame in the grand scheme of things. There will be times when you’ve imagined picking up your hot date in your car, going somewhere secluded, and then slipping onto the back seat so you two can get hot and heavy together.
I’ve done this a few times, and it can be a lot of fun. None of the places on this list of overrated sex spots is going to lead to necessarily bad sex, but this position is awkward. For a start, you need to go somewhere secluded enough that you won’t be interrupted. Finding the right spot can be tough, especially because people see cars getting steamy and they know exactly what is going on.
It can also be difficult to transition to the back seat of the car when things start heating up. Yes, you can have sex in the front, but the gear stick might get in your way. The back seat gives you a little more room, and you can change positions more easily. It might feel a bit like a sliding puzzle at times, but it is possible to fuck in a car and it can be fun!
Shower sex
Sex in the shower is a hot fantasy for many of us. It is something we’d love to do, but many homes don’t exactly have the kind of showers made for this. Tiny cubicles are difficult enough to navigate alone, never mind with your partner when you are both eager to fuck under the hot water! Hotels tend to have larger showers, making them perfect for this.
My first time having shower sex was on holiday with an ex. We’d taken a romantic vacation to Naples. It was amazing, and if you’re looking for a hot location, there are some sexy spots around Europe you can visit. The room was amazing and had a huge shower perfect for shower sex. So guess what we did? It turns out that shower sex isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.
The chance of slipping meant that it felt more dangerous than risky, and the fact that the water was washing away any lubrication caused difficulties. The angle also had to be perfect, or you’d end up with water in your eyes. Not a sexy look! Figuring out the perfect temperature was a pain too, leaving me to conclude that shower sex is nice in theory, but not so hot in practice.
Airplane sex
Joining the Mile High Club is an aspiration many of us have. We’d love to get up there where the air is clear and fuck to our heart’s content. The problem is trying to figure out the perfect time for it, as the flight attendants are constantly on the look out for horny couples up to no good.
That’s one of the barriers in the way. The other is where you can have sex. If you sneak off to the bathroom for a mid-air romp, they’ll know what you are up to. It isn’t exactly subtle. Many couples opt for a little sex in their seats, but that all depends on who is sitting around you.
Not up for the risk? You could try the bathroom, but think about it. How small are airplane toilets? They are tiny, with barely any room for you to get in. I’m telling you now that it is hard to sneak in their with you and your partner. You can’t do much, with ruins the quickie you had in mind.
Hot tub sex
Hot tubs are often seen as one of the sexiest places for you to fuck. You can see the appeal of them. After all, you and your partner can enjoy the steam and admire each other’s bodies in the glistening water. It’s a sexy place to be and very easy to get carried away. Yet hot tubs made it onto this list of overrated sex spots.
The clue is in the name – hot tubs are hot. You might think that the water will keep you cool as you fuck, but you’d be wrong. You’ll get so hot and sweaty that you’ll want sex to be over quickly. A hot tub is not the place for a long and romantic fuck, as you can become light-headed as a result. Yikes!
Worst of all are the chemicals in the hot tub. Condoms can actually tear because of the heat, and potentially even slip off. They might also cause you problems if you aren’t careful, so it might be best to save the sex for afterwards.
Beach sex
As soon as I began writing this blog, I knew which location I’d be putting last. Out of all of the overrated sex spots, there is one place that I have yet to hear a good story about. My feelings on it can be pretty accurately summed up by @MasonLakeford.
The song says that they want to have sex on the beach, but that’s a terrible idea. Beach sex is horrid. For a start, you’re just rolling around in the sand. Sand gets everywhere, and I mean everywhere. There is no escaping it, and you’ll be washing it off of and out of your body for a long time.
The chances are you’ll be interrupted too, which can cause all kinds of problems. Towels might help to keep you off of the sand, but they aren’t exactly sturdy, thanks to the sand beneath them. It can be hard to build up a rhythm. Also, there are bugs everywhere. Depending on where the beach is, you could end up with bites that weren’t left by your lover. Ouch.
Other overrated sex spots
There are tons of other overrated sex spots I could have talked about. The woods, in the snow, against an office window. There are tons. If you can name it, then someone has had sex there. But often these spots just aren’t worth it.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be adventurous with the places you have sex. I’m saying that you need to accept that the fantasy might not match the reality. Are there any places on this list you think don’t deserve to be overrated sex spots? Let me know in the comments below.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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